St. Trinian's

St Trinians proudly continues to represent the unacceptable face of British education. When the new Minister of Education announces he will personally sort the place out he doesn't realise either the enormity of the task or that the headmistress is an old flame. The school is anyway threatened with closure by their bank; with the staff clearly a waste of space the girls realise the responsibility to save the day falls on them. Perhaps ripping off the girl with the pearl earring (a painting by Johannes Vermeer) might be the way out?

The arrival of Sultan's daughter Princess Fatima at England's famous, prestigious 'School for Young Ladies' precipitates even more chaos than usual. Her father's horse, Arab Boy, is due to run at the nearby Gold Cup so Clarence Fitton, bookie brother of headmistress Millicent, ensures that his own daughter is on hand to report progress. At the same time, Barchester police have planted sergeant Ruby Gates as a teacher, and the Ministry of Education are sending a third inspector down after the previous two disappeared without trace.

After wealthy philanthropist Piers Pomfrey has expressed an unusual interest in a ring found by her niece Annabelle, Miss Fritton explains that she is descended from a pirate who, in 1598, stole treasure from another pirate: Pomfrey's ancestor. The location of the treasure is to be found when the ring and its double are put together. Felonious ex-pupil Kelly and Miss Fritton's former lover Geoffrey are brought in to help the school steal the second ring from the evil Pomfrey's misogynistic secret society, leading to a showdown at the Globe Theater, and an amazing revelation as to the identity of pirate Captain Fritton, as well as that of William Shakespeare.

When the school burns to the ground there's clearly been some arson around. The pupils are found guilty and the judge hands them into the care of a pretty dubious child psychiatrist. The sixth form are soon kidnapped and on their way to Arabia with the Ministry of Education, Barchester police, and an Army Bath Unit after them. But real rescue is at hand in the shape of Britain's finest fighting force - St. Trinian's fourth form.

To further the aims of the St Trinian's Marriage Bureau run by Flash Harry, the school contrives to win a competition with a European "Goodwill" trip as prize, to the horror of the Ministry of Education. Joe Mangan, father of a sixth former and hiding out at the school after a Hatton Garden diamond robbery, is persuaded to travel with the girls as their new headmistress, leaving the real one trussed up in the belfry. At least her arrival had allowed the remains of the Army unit sent in to keep order to evacuate.

The all-girl school foil an attempt by train robbers to recover two and a half million pounds hidden in their school.

The girls of St. Trinian's decide they are being asked to do too much work so they go on strike.