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Jay was born in Connecticut and raised in Connecticut and New York City to parents Michael and Frances Bontatibus. He is the 3rd child of 4, with 2 brothers and a sister. Trained as a stage actor in NYC, he got his breakthrough role playing "Tony Viscardi" on the CBS soap, The Young and the Restless (1973). Jay went on to play "Detective Andy Capelli" on the ABC soap, General Hospital (1963), and numerous TV episodes and films.