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Not even death could part them. Jacob and Helena, the newly deads, are looking for a place to call there 'forever home'. The stumble across Harlaxton Manor, a Jacobean building in the heart of Lincolnshire. They tour the grounds hoping to discover some element of this manor they might call home, the gardens are beautiful, the statues are magnificent, the company is terrible. They cannot seem to decide on anything. Jacob cannot seem to stop his constant streams of sarcasm, Helena cannot seem to accept the constant streams of sarcasm. The encounter the other tenants of the property, the pirate, the corpse bride and the floater in the toilets. But when faced with a difficult decision, Jacob and Helena come to yet another disagreement and some less than happy truths are uncovered. There deaths and the cause of them, the truth of the mother in law and the fate of them should they choose the reside in this place. This decision. Stay or go. Stay in the comfort of the manor waiting for history to catch up with them, or go to the afterlife. Upwards to the promise of never ending pleasure for the rest of eternity, or down, to the land of never ending torment and torture. Either way the latter will catch up with them.