Hand it to Pari (2022)

Director's Statement: After countless sessions interviewing multiple psychiatrists, who had dealt with suicidal patients, through some connections (and a bit of misdemeanor), I managed to smuggle into the suicidal ward of an asylum in Yazd, Iran and spend hours talking about suffering, death, pain, life, and meaning with those who had come close to death - many of whom had not given up on suicide. After all, a bit of hope is essential to any suicide - a faint hope that things will get better with one's death. And, I too had this misguided hope that by researching those with suicidal thoughts, I can somehow explain my own death drive. Little did I know that some forms of knowledge are not acquired - they can only be lived. That is why I decided to only narrate in my film one's experience and refrain from taking a position. To sit back, much like my audience, and witness my character and his reactions to glimpses of life. To give him a chance and wish him well. I have no idea what has happened to my character since, but after shooting the film, I have a vivid feeling of being saved - a feeling of rebirth.