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A small Erdös number - the relative authorship distance between oneself and Paul Erdös - has long been a source of pride for mathematicians, computer scientists and other geeks. Utilizing similar separation metrics, a small Bacon number (the degree of separation from Kevin Bacon) has been a source of pride for actors, while a small Sabbath number (the degree of separation from Black Sabbath) has been a source of pride for musicians. We extend and improve on previous work in Erdös+Bacon minimization to provide a benchmark Erdös+Bacon+Sabbath minimization that is believed to be close to optimal (2 + 2 + 3), and beats the pants off the competition.