How to Write a Screenplay

After putting on her war paint, ready for battle, Writer sets out in search of an Idea. She finds one, a small child, on a train, and takes her back to her apartment. In a frantic panic, Writer moves through the first eight steps of writing a screenplay, 1) Finding the Idea, 2) Feeding the Idea, 3) Research, 4) Write, 5) Procrastinate, 6) Write, 7) Feedback, 8) Rewrite. Through this process, Writer loses her sleep, social life, mental health, sex life, and free time. Eventually, frustrated that the Idea is never going to work, Writer abandons her and reclaims her life back. However, Writer finds her life to be boring and empty with Idea, and thus step 9) Love your idea. "They will show the worst, and the best of you". With newfound inspiration and vigor, Writer finishes Idea and sends her back off on the train. It is not long before Writer finds New Idea, and step 10) Repeat.