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Darren Giles has lost his college scholarship, can't work up the courage to ask out the girl of his dreams, and doesn't have the cash to stay in college another semester. Unless he can survive the teenage dominatrix and New York's largest drug mogul, convince his parents he's not gay, write a paper on Dante's Inferno, escape three thugs chasing the wrong guy, and sell 50 ecstasy pills in time to make his tuition payment, he'll never get the chance to date the girl of his dreams.