A Piece of Our Youth Faded Away as We Lost One Member of the “Friends”

Chandler’s sudden farewell to this world in his own way has left us all in a sense of loss. Even after a day of mourning, I felt compelled to pen down some thoughts in remembrance of this man who, when confronted with difficulties, often turned to humor to express himself. He was the guy whose laughter warmed our hearts and had a hint of the absurd. He was the one who, deep down, feared conflict and the prospect of growing old alone. Maybe he didn't want us to see his sorrow; perhaps he just grew weary and decided it was time for a change, a chance to crack jokes in a different place.

It's hard to tally how many times I've rewatched“Friends. “During my college days, it was an almost nightly ritual, and even post-graduation, during those idle moments, I'd pull out the show and immerse myself in it. Countless nights spent enjoying late-night snacks while watching“Friends often laughing with unbridled mirth. In 2021, I watched the cast's reunion with my best friend remotely, and the I teared so much. In my younger days, Chandler didn't resonate much with me. I found him peculiar. He held a job that most people couldn't quite grasp, he repeatedly dated a woman whose laughter could pierce eardrums, and he always seemed out of sync during festive occasions, awkwardly cracking jokes that never quite fit the moment. But as I matured, I understood that this man had been healing his own childhood in his own way.

Chandler hailed from a relatively well-off but profoundly unhappy family. His father held a strong dislike for women, whereas his mother displayed an excessive affection for men, choosing Thanksgiving, of all days, to declare their divorce. It's almost unfathomable to envision what his childhood must have been like, how he mustered the strength to endure amidst the taunts and derision, learning to be resilient and courageous. Humor became his shield, his tool to navigate around conflict and evade life's thorny issues.

It wasn't until later in life that I discovered Chandler's career in big data, a lucrative and promising field. This allowed him to support himself and Joey and become a regional manager . At the time, I thought it was certain for him to forsake his job and return to Monica. Now, I realize how exceptional and rare that choice was. To reach an age where one can relinquish a high-paying job and embark on intern interviews at an advertising agency alongside a group of youngsters is no small feat. Remarkably, he found fulfillment in it.

Chandler's relationship with Joey resembled the bond one has with a partner or a child – full of affection and a degree of dependency. While Chandler assumed numerous responsibilities for their daily expenses, emotionally, Joey, although less educated, was more carefree and less circumspect than Chandler. Joey embodied the spirit of an eternal boy, providing Chandler with the warmth and solace akin to that of a family. Their mutual dependence, trust, and support fostered a closeness that allowed them to be playful, engage in mischief, and undertake various entertaining endeavors together. The moment that particularly moved me was when Chandler was preparing to move to the suburbs with Monica. He informed Joey that he had set up a room and assured him there would always be a place for him in their home. At that time, I couldn't hold back my tears. Over a decade later, I have come to realize the rarity and worth of a friend who will unwaveringly support you.

One of the most touching moments was when Chandler and Monica mutually proposed. For someone who harbored an aversion to marriage, who struggled to maintain lasting romantic relationships, make commitments, and had reservations about enduring intimacy, the willingness to step into marriage was nothing short of moving. Monica and Chandler were like two people huddling together for warmth. Monica, despite being raised in a middle-class family with loving parents, lived in the shadow of her older brother. Her parents' favoritism towards her brother was all too evident, to the extent that upon learning of her brother's divorce, her mother's initial response wasn't to reproach Ross but to question Monica, "You knew too?" Growing up in such an environment, Monica deeply yearned for preferential treatment, and Chandler, with boundless patience, was the one who accommodated her, showering her with affection and embracing her peculiarities.

He accepted her idiosyncrasies and reassured her during emotional turbulence, reminding her of her greatness and unique qualities. He loved her and offered unending devotion because she sought marriage, so he was ready to venture out of his comfort zone. For Chandler, Monica was a radiant presence in his life. She had a crush on him when she was young, and as she matured and got to know him, she understood the motivations behind his humor. She appreciated him, accepted his quirks, and could see and embrace his more neurotic side. After their quarrels, she'd comfort him, assuring him they'd get through the disagreements without breaking up.

At times, within their relationship, Monica exhibited traits typically associated with boys, whereas Chandler appeared more sensitive and delicate, akin to a girl. In this sense, they complemented and fostered deep understanding for each other. Their love was a product of the passage of time, founded on an appreciation of each other at their most trying moments, a commitment to stand by each other in moments of vulnerability, and a pledge to provide support when needed. As I've grown older, I find myself increasingly envious of such a love, although it remains a rare and precious encounter rather than something one can actively seek.

“Friends” is the repository of our youthful memories. While watching “Friends”, I'd often find myself laughing one moment and crying the next, and the cycle repeats itself. It's a show that encapsulates reality and warmth, humor, and emotion. It reminds us that life can be incredibly challenging, yet we can always persevere. Chandler may have departed, and with him, a piece of our youth, but perhaps in some corner of our hearts, the “Friends” remain as they were at the beginning, and we, too, remain true to our original selves.