Chandler's Departure: Does It Change How We Understand the 'Friends' Ending?

“’Friends’ star Matthew Perry was found dead Saturday in a hot tub at his Los Angeles home, law enforcement sources said. He was 54.”

In his autobiography titled 'Friends, Lovers and the Big Terrible Thing,' published last year, he shared openly his near-fatal battle with opioid addiction five years ago. Nevertheless, what remains etched in the hearts of die-hard fans is the witty, charming, and wisecracking "Chan Chan Man" that was Chandler Bing.

Matthew's demise signifies the loss of a beloved star, but it also marks a farewell to an era of eternal youth. As they say, "Death takes away not just one person but many people's utopia."

Since the finale of "Friends" in 2003, there has been a relentless clamour for a sequel, with fans holding onto hopes of a "full cast reunion." Even though the producers made it clear in last year's special episode, "The One Where They Get Back Together," that there would be no more sequels, it remains a bitter pill for fans to swallow.

"The gang will never disband" - this is the heartfelt cry of every 'Friends' fan. Sadly, Matthew's departure shattered this beautiful dream. Today, the six friends can never reunite, leaving behind nothing but cherished memories.

What is it that we truly miss about 'Friends'?

In the fall of 1993, three screenwriters gathered in the Warner Bros. office, brainstorming a story about young adults living in New York City. In their initial concept, "the show should encompass sex, love, various relationships, as well as work and careers - basically, everything that might happen in your youth. It would primarily emphasize friendship, as when you're alone in a strange city, your friends become your chosen family." At the time, they named the show "Insomnia Cafe" and submitted a seven-page outline to NBC.

The coffee shop was one of the main settings of the show, where the six central characters spent their time talking and sipping coffee. This name came from a playful reference to Central Park in New York and the idea that coffee could perk you up, and thus, it became Central Perk.

In March 1994, the first script was finally locked down. To reflect the theme of "friendship," the show went through several title changes until it was officially named "Friends." After the script was finalized, auditions for the cast began. Despite the 'Friends' team being relatively unknown at the time, thousands of actors auditioned. Among them, only six lucky individuals were chosen.

David Schwimmer, who played Ross, was a classically trained actor, passionate about a career in theatre. However, he wasn't doing well in the world of theatre, having appeared in a TV show called "MONTY" that had dismal ratings.

Courteney Cox, who portrayed Monica, was already a somewhat famous actress. The original plan was for her to play the 'rich girl' Rachel, but she felt that the perfectionist, neat-freak character of Monica was more like her in real life, so she chose to play the latter.

Jennifer Aniston, who played Rachel, was filming another movie at the time. According to her contract, she couldn't take on another leading role during her filming. However, that project got shelved midway due to its poor quality, allowing her to go for the audition for 'Friends.'

Matt LeBlanc, who played Joey, had originally hoped to become a motorcycle racer or a carpenter but accidentally stumbled into a career as a model. The producers initially envisioned Joey as a muscular actor, but Matt LeBlanc, despite not being very muscular, caught the attention of casting directors with his charmingly clueless demeanour. After eight auditions, he eventually landed the role of Joey.

Matthew Perry, who portrayed Chandler, had a father with a distinguished acting career. Thus, Matthew had cameo roles in several well-known TV series since childhood, like "Growing Pains." Before the 'Friends' audition, the show's creators had already considered him for the role. Matthew initially wanted to pitch the character to a friend but was unsuccessful.

Lisa Kudrow, who played Phoebe, majored in biology in college and had eight years of experience in medical research. She had previously played the waitress Ursula Buffay in the hit comedy "Mad About You." Her quirky and neurotic performance made a lasting impression on the show's creators, leading to her being invited to audition for 'Friends.’ Interestingly, Ursula's character traits were incorporated into Phoebe's character.

At that time, the young people frolicked on the set; they were full of the exuberance of youth, and they didn't know, at that time, how much this show would change their lives.

Two months before 'Friends' premiered on NBC, Warner Bros. chartered a private jet for the six main cast members, flying them to a vacation in Las Vegas. For the young adults, it was an unprecedented luxury, as they couldn't even afford to gamble $200 in a casino at the time. On September 22, 1994, at 8:30 PM, 'Friends' officially premiered. The show was subsequently broadcast in over 220 countries and regions. It held the top spot in TV comedy ratings for six consecutive seasons, with an average of 25 million viewers watching each week. The series finale attracted over 52 million viewers and had a total streaming viewership of over a billion. The cast members' salaries, starting at a mere $22,500 per episode in the first season, skyrocketed to $1 million per episode, setting an American record.

Their success may seem like an overnight sensation, but in reality, the actors had already traversed long and arduous paths in life. Some of their experiences even mirrored the characters they played. Perhaps this is one of the aspects of 'Friends' that is most endearing, as it reflects a very specific phase of life - the challenging journey from youth to adulthood, the constant searching, breakthroughs, and ultimately self-discovery. For most people, such a growth experience occurs only once. For example, when Rachel fled her wedding, she was merely yearning for a vague sense of freedom. Driven by idealism, she wanted to be an economically independent woman in control of her own life.

However, real life doesn't always align with our aspirations. She had to contend with a meagre salary and endless bills. After working as a coffee shop waitress for years, she was still clumsy and often got orders wrong. Her venture into the fashion industry, which she loved, also came with its own set of challenges. She was initially tasked with organizing hangers and then had to deal with a domineering female boss. Even in the professional world, the pampered 'daddy's girl' had to obey the boss and walk on eggshells. Rachel transformed from a capricious young lady to a self-sufficient professional woman. When she was about to leave for Paris, Monica, as usual, checked her luggage but found that Rachel had already organized it meticulously. Monica, filled with emotion, said, "It seems there's nothing left for me to teach you."

The growth in Rachel's life was not just about professional skills but also about life lessons. Despite her ups and downs in love, and her jealousy with Ross over trivial matters, she finally heeded the voice of her heart. The prolonged saga of "We were on a break" ultimately found its resolution. Facing her complex relationship with her parents, she was finally able to empathize with her mother's pain. So, when her mother said those words, Rachel was left in tearful silence.

Beyond the theme of growth, 'Friends' also evokes nostalgia for the close bonds of friendship and the sincerity of face-to-face interactions. These qualities are increasingly difficult to replicate in an era of virtual communication.

In the mid-to-late 1990s, the American economy was booming, conservative culture was waning with the end of the Cold War, and the Information Superhighway was fueling cultural vibrancy, particularly in big cities. Young people were embracing diverse values and freely choosing their lifestyles. This lively, face-to-face communication naturally brought a sense of closeness. Today, if you gather six friends in a coffee shop, they are likely to be busy checking their smartphones or taking photos for social media. In this day and age, the art of true, heartfelt interaction, the kind that was showcased in 'Friends,' is a rare and precious gem.

"They never attempted to make life easier for themselves when dealing with friends; they never kept track of the time and effort they put into each other. There was no such thing as standing on ceremony or distance among one another; they simply wanted to help one another. It's a quality that leaves today's society, rife with loneliness, filled with envy." It's this "genuine" and "pure" aspect of 'Friends' that deeply resonates with audiences around the world, regardless of language or nationality. It has set a narrative standard for many subsequent TV shows, such as 'Sex and the City' and 'Will & Grace,' which took place in the bustling metropolis of New York, explored themes of friendship and love, and emphasized personal growth with the city's civilization as a backdrop. These series not only brought joy to viewers but also served as a storytelling model for how to have a rich and loving social life, sharing and caring for one another.

When 'Friends' Becomes Reality: The Inevitable Finale

While this may seem cruel, at its core, 'Friends' was just an urban fairy tale. The six characters had different family backgrounds and educational levels. In real life, it's difficult for such disparate individuals to maintain the deep bonds they had on the show. Although it was a comedy, it couldn't avoid addressing the shadows of their differences.

Phoebe signed up for an interesting class, and Rachel joined her for fun, leading to a comical episode in the classroom. Phoebe was quite angry about it, saying directly, "You went to college, and I never did. This is where I wanted to seriously study!" At Ross's birthday party, the group had a dispute over what to order, highlighting the stark income disparities among them. This effectively laid out the harsh realities of life. These differences in real-life friendships often lead to silent split among friends.

The essence of 'Friends,' as co-creator David Crane put it, was about that time in life when your friends are your family. In other words, friends don't always stay as family. In the latter half of the series, romantic relationships and marriages completely overshadowed friendship. Real-life problems were largely resolved through love and marriage, distancing the show from its initial focus on friendship.

Joey, in his perpetual state of immaturity, ultimately remained single. It's not hard to understand. He's Peter Pan, refusing to grow up. He views the world and those around him with a simple, uncomplicated gaze. While his kind-hearted, innocent nature is charming in most situations, it's a different story when confronted with the complexities of adulthood. He loses his charm as a character when his free-spirited self is entangled in the complexities of relationships. In real life, people can't maintain the same carefree spirit they had in their youth, and as their paths diverge, separation becomes inevitable.

'Friends' is both a warm memory and a bitter farewell to a unique phase of life. But, even as the show comes to a close, true friendships remain eternal. So, rather than resisting parting, it's better to accept that it's a part of life. When true youth comes to an end, we must say "goodbye," not with fear but with nostalgia for the sincere moments we shared.